The Reasons Why Your Long Distance Relationship Will Never Work No Matter How Hard You Try

Long distance relationships have to be almost as bad to society as
catfishing. It is such a burdensome and taxing experience, it’s extremely
difficult to understand why anyone would put themselves through such an
experience. Before we delve into this and I fully break down each reason
this type of relationship is pointless and doesn’t work, we must
understand that I am referring to a long distance relationship that is
greater than two months.
It is important that we make this distinction because there are always
those people who have been separated for two weeks and think they
survived a long distance relationship. That is just bush league in
comparison to the types of relationships people have. Some even last for
years, when they seldom see each other and their only forms of
communication come via texts, phone calls and social media.
Such relationships require much effort and in the end many people realize
that it isn’t even worth it. Many people go into their freshman year of
college expecting a relationship with their high school sweet heart to last 4
years without much face-to-face contact. Although this is great for
people who are really dedicated, it a pointless experience for most who
bother torturing themselves with it. Share your thoughts below.

How Do I Tell Him It's Over?

Ending a relationship is never easy. Even if you've only been dating
a couple of months, the idea of calling it off yourself can produce
sweaty palms, guilt and propel you to stand in front of the mirror
rehearsing lines. You might wonder, "If only he'd breakup with me
first, I'd be off the hook." But no, he is growing more attached
while you are looking forward to moving on.
If you are thinking about breaking up with someone who you grew
close to, enjoyed the time you spend together, or even loved, how to
tell him it's over may weigh heavy on your mind. Yes, you want to
say the right thing, let him down easy and not hurt him beyond
repair. Nor do you want saying what you need to say to shatter you
or turn the event into a hate session. Careful consideration and
forethought can ease the process. Here are some tips that you may wish
to consider for ending a relationship on a positive note:

Be Sure Breaking Up Is What You Want to Do
If you just had a big argument the night before and now you want
revenge thinking that telling him it's over will show him you mean
business, you may need to curb your impulses. Give yourself a few days
and decide if breaking up is really what you want to do. Sometimes women
think that the threat of abandonment will turn their man around to
appreciate them a bit more.
If breaking up has been on your mind for quite a while and you have come
to the conclusion it is best that you part as friends, then by all means as
a woman you have just as much right to end the relationship as he does.

Choose the Right Place and the Right Time
A phone or text message is not the way to say, "I think we should stop
seeing each other." A young man recently sent me his girlfriend's last
text message in which she terminated their yearlong relationship by
saying, "I just can't do this gooey thing anymore." Though you might
have considered texting, you possess the maturity to know that a face-
to-face conversation would set a more respectful tone. Plan to meet in a
neutral public place, preferably somewhere you have not been as a couple.
A coffee shop is better than a restaurant because the last thing on your
mind will be food. Find a table in the corner where you can have a bit of
privacy and the stage is set for you to have a serious and heart-felt
conversation. If you meet at your place or his it is a set up for a long
drawn out dramatic end.
Timing is also important to consider. For instance, don't set the time
during his lunch hour knowing he will be in a rush to get back to work or
during finals week when he has to cram for tests in the days ahead. You
wouldn't want it on your conscience that you caused him to fail and
ruined his career dreams for the future.

Bury the Hatchet Before You Meet
Women break up with their guys usually for good reasons. And you may
have a list of things you just got tired of. You may also have a long list
of resentments some of which you never told him in the moment. Thinking
now is the time to vent a long list of grievances will only add more insult
to the situation. Keep your list down to three reasons why the relationship
isn't working for you anymore.

Be Honest About the Reasons Why You Want to Call It Off
Honesty is the best policy when stating your reasons. If you lie to save
face, he'll probably find out the truth from one of your friends. Make it
clear that you spent considerable time in coming to your decision and that
you first had to be honest with yourself about your feelings and
expectations of the relationship.

Don't Kill Him with Kindness or Think You Can Mentor Him
If you are like many women, you may feel a bit guilty being the one to
call it off. You want to be kind, but sweetening the conversation with too
many apologies may only confuse him. He'll think there's a chance you'll
come to your senses, forgive yourself and come back running to him.
Never use the break up session to give him advice as if you are coaching
him for a future relationship. He'll learn the lesson surrounding your
break up in his own way and in his own time.

Consider His Baggage as Well as Yours Before Opening Your Mouth
If you were intimate for long enough you know your guy's weaknesses and
vulnerable spots well. He may have issues about being made to seem wrong
or has a bit of abandonment phobia because his mother left him as a
child. If so, you will want to choose your words carefully so that you don't
push any of his buttons. Stress that the bond of friendship is what you
want now and that you have done a great deal of soul-searching, looking
at your previous patterns in relationship before coming to your decision.
Expand on that soul-searching process a bit so that he knows for sure
that the break up was not a hasty decision.

Listen to His Response Compassionately and Learn From It
As long as he is being respectful, it is important to let him have his say.
You may not like all that he tells you, but if you are bent on remaining
friends this will be a good test as to whether that will be possible. Don't
let yourself be swayed in the moment to give the relationship another
try. If he is extremely attached to you, he may try to make a good case
for the two of you remaining together. Tell him you need space and time
to consider what he has said.

Be Appreciative of His Friendship
Although many experts consider it inadvisable to pursue a friendship with
someone you were previously romantically involved with, continuing the
friendship is not impossible. In fact, it is preferable in cases when you
stand on common ground and are connected soul to soul. If you valued your
guy for his qualities and all he contributed to your life, you will want to
let him know how much you appreciated all that he did. With time, the
words of appreciation you express at the end of your romance will hold
more weight than the fact that you had to end it.